How can i overcome obsession

Yet, in fact our mind can turn a problem or experience over and over again without ever solving anything or seeing things more clearly. We all have problems; adversity is part of life. But a tendency to ruminate about our problems can set us up for anxiety and depression.

We can get so stuck in our heads that we miss the beauty and joy of life and the calm clarity that can come from being in the present—the smile of a friend, the drops of rain hitting the leaves outside the window, the way the setting sun lights the clouds on fire. Just as it took some time to develop the habit of overthinking, it will take some effort to overcome it. Here are some suggestions to get you started:. Thinking is a wonderful tool that allows us to plan for the future, anticipate, and solve problems.

But in order to live a balanced life and not waste our time worrying, we need to learn how to handle our challenges and take in the world around us. Sometimes the greatest inspirations come when we stop thinking and open our minds to a deeper stream of experience.

P: F: Apply Visit Give Navigation. How to Stop Obsessing. This may lead to jealous outbursts toward strangers or even friends who interact with the object of your obsession. It can also lead to making inaccurate assumptions about an interaction between this person and someone else that ends in possible embarrassment for overreacting. And if you feel like jealousy is holding you back as a person, here are 10 strategies that can help you stop being a jealous person.

You claim to want to protect the person from others who may harm them, but you are really just isolating them from the rest of the world. You may try to limit the number of people they hang out with, convincing this person that their friends and family are toxic. This is a factor of the feelings of possession that you have over this person.

You don't want anyone to think that this person is available or get the idea that they like someone else as more than a friend. Also, you don't want the object of your obsession to find someone they think they will like better than you. If the other person walks out on you during a fight, hangs up on you, or rejects you in any other way, you may have a very strong reaction.

Any hint of rejection that you get from this person sends you into a panic , thinking that you might lose them forever. You have an inability to accept failure or rejection. Not only do you need to check up on this person during the day, you also want to constantly be on their mind. Interacting through texts and phone calls allows you to know where they are at all times during the day and make sure that they are paying attention to you. If you text or call and don't hear back for a while, you probably get extremely upset and frustrated, and end up coming to the worst conclusions, thinking that they are with another person or doing something behind your back.

You give up time that you would otherwise spend with your friends and family to be with this other person. You make them a priority over everything else, and you never want to suggest that you are unavailable to be by their side. Holiday dinners at your parents' house might be cut short and nights out with your friends may become few and far between as you spend all of your time with this one person.

Any and everything this person does is perfect to you. And everything you do for them has to be perfect as well. You may have an article of their clothing in your home that you always sleep with or a picture by your bed that you often stare at until you fall asleep. Why do people experience these symptoms? And how do people get to this point of obsession where their world is revolving around someone else so much? Let's look at a few reasons why this could be happening.

Thus far, a specific cause of obsessive love has not yet been identified. However, it is usually present in some mental disorders, such as in borderline personality disorder BPD. It can also be present in people diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorders OCD. People with BPD and OCD have underlying symptoms of obsession, and love is certainly not the only place where this symptom can manifest itself.

However, it is one area of a person's life that other people can easily notice, especially the object of the affection. In this minute video, clinical psychologist Steven Phillipson defines what relationship obsessive compulsive disorder ROCD is , describes the symptoms of ROCD, and gives suggestions for the treatment of the disorder.

This subset of OCD causes sufferers to be consumed with doubts regarding their relationships. They question their love and attraction for their partners, their compatibility with their partners, and how much their partners love them.

While it is normal to have doubts or concerns about your partner, people suffering from ROCD have irrational thoughts that are unfounded and detrimental to their lives. If your obsession over someone is causing havoc in your life, here are some tried-and-true ways to stop the unhealthy attraction.

Consciously putting a spotlight on their shortcomings can help you get over the obsession. Look at everything this person does that you don't like or wouldn't prefer in a partner.

Highlight these areas a bit more so you can see that there is a balance, and that the person is not perfect. Also, think about the bad times that you have had with this person. They could include a memory that flashes in your mind, or a song that sticks around in your head for a while. For example, it may be natural to have persistent intrusive thoughts about your ex-partner after breaking up. These intrusive thoughts may affect your mood and some of your behaviors.

But eventually, they decrease in intensity and frequency. You may even be able to avoid these thoughts if you focus on a task or distract yourself with friends and family.

Melissa Shepard , a psychiatrist in Baltimore, Maryland. For example, you may constantly think about hurting your ex or their new partner, fear embarrassing yourself in front of them, or dread running into them.

It may be difficult to put these thoughts away. You may start having difficulty sleeping or completing daily tasks. Sometimes, obsessive thinking is similar to rumination, a common feature of those who live with an anxiety disorder. The main difference is that rumination creates a distressing loop about the past, while obsessive thinking may also generate fear about the possibilities of the future. For some people, obsessions may be equated with action, a cognitive distortion known as thought-action fusion.

In other words, for some people with OCD, an obsession can be experienced as a real event or as the cause of that real event. In fact, obsessions have the potential to impact your overall sense of well-being and prevent you from enjoying activities, work, or relationships. These could lead you to experience other challenges such as:.

While obsessive thoughts are most commonly associated with OCD, they can also occur in other mental health conditions. These include:.

While it may be difficult to stop them altogether, an effective treatment plan and coping strategies can help reduce the impact these thoughts have on your life.

If you live with a condition that includes obsessions as a symptom, treatment usually includes a combination of therapy and medication.

A successful form of treatment for obsessive thoughts and other OCD symptoms is exposure therapy , which involves:. For those living with OCD, mindfulness-based cognitive therapy MCBT may be an effective complementary treatment to exposure therapy and medication, according to a study involving people with OCD.

One case study argues that social media can make erotomania worse. This is because it allows people with obsessive tendencies to observe others from a distance, and to feel closer to them than they might otherwise feel. Learn more about erotomania here. People with borderline personality disorder may intensely fear abandonment and have trouble managing their emotions. For example, their emotions may appear disproportionate to the situation, and they may obsess over their relationships.

They often view things in black and white terms, alternating between seeing a person as completely good or completely evil. This can cause them to try to control others or manipulate partners into remaining in the relationship. People with this disorder may not have a consistent identity or sense of self.

This can worsen obsessive tendencies, since they may struggle to see themselves as real or worthy individually, separate from their relationships. People whose parents or caregivers were unstable or abusive may develop abnormal patterns of attachment. This can cause them to become obsessive, controlling, or fearful in their relationships.

People with insecure or reactive attachment styles may feel preoccupied by fears of loss. They may feel unable to cope without a relationship and be willing to do anything to keep their partner. Sometimes, insecure attachment keeps a person in an abusive relationship because they fear loss. In other cases, it may cause a person to become abusive in a desperate attempt to keep a partner. Some people are so afraid of abandonment that they develop obsessive tendencies. This may stem from an attachment disorder or emerge after a trauma.

For example, a person whose spouse died may be terrified of losing their current partner. This can increase their risk of becoming obsessed with their relationship. For example, a person with depression may believe that they are unworthy and alone, or that the only worthwhile aspect of their life is their relationship.

This can cause obsessive feelings or behavior. Learn more about the different types of personality disorder here. Some social and cultural norms demand more of one partner than the other. This could mean that some parents and caregivers expose their children to these unhealthful relationship styles during their upbringing. The symptoms of obsessive love vary depending on the reason for the obsession. For instance, a person with a delusional disorder may experience altered reality or demonstrate unusual behavior, while a person with depression may have low self-esteem or experience suicidal thoughts.